Just Like Me

Growing up in a large family in a small town had its advantages. My parents felt safe letting us wander and explore. We had a great time as kids. I didn’t like, however, when someone would identify me by my looks and say, “I can tell you’re one of the Naumann girls. You look just like your sisters!” I don’t know why it bugged me, but it did. It got to the point that I would avoid the conversations altogether. If someone would say, “Aren’t you one of those Naumann girls?” I would change the subject or walk away.

One recent afternoon, we decided to meet some friends at the movie theater. With my kids and niece (adopted from Ethiopia) in tow, we loaded up the van and headed out. As we were driving down the highway, my niece commented that she was excited that her new neighbors have a daughter with “skin that is just like me.” At that point, my daughter added that the friends we were meeting at the movie theater have a daughter (adopted from Korea) with skin, hair and eyes “just like me.” The conversation continued with each girl discussing how they like being around people that look like them. Their conversation made me reminisce at how different things are for them. While I didn’t like it when people said my sisters looked “just like me,” these girls LOVED it when they are recognized as looking similar to their friends.

When we arrived at the movie theater, my daughter jumped out of the van and ran to her friend. She put her arms around her, looked at her cousin with a huge grin and said, “Look, she is just like me.” (Which made her friend giggle and smile.) At that point, all three girls and my four-year-old (Caucasian) son linked arms and walked into the theater together. A European-, Korean-, Chinese-, Ethiopian-American human chain.

No matter how hard I try, I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand how very important it is to my daughter to have friends that look like her. But, the smile on her face and the extra confidence in her step after having spent time with her friends is evidence enough for me that this is a very important part of her development. After all, I have to admit that I while it bugged me, a part of me felt a sense of belonging when people said my sisters looked “just like me.”

~Kelly